Invisible Mom

I read this on my friend Deedra's blog and I had to post it on mine. Really I think all of us Mom's need to read this every once in awhile, I sure do!

It all began to make sense: the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids would walk into the room while I was on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now….they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's Going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a Friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I Could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the Eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the Cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.’ And the workman replied, 'Because God sees it.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the Sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great Cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.’

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he is bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4:00 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Hello Again!!!

Yes... he is trying to bite off the horn. Can you tell he's teething??? He's almost 14 months old and still only has 2 teeth... poor guy!
This is my Mom and Grandma... I had to add this picture because I think they both look so beautiful! I love you both!

What a month... I am so exhausted just thinking about it. We (or should I say I) haven't caught up quite yet. With the funeral, the wedding, friends moving away ( I miss you both Clenece and Jess ) and trying to apply to schools -it has taken up most of our time. Then last weekend we thought it would be fun to get away one last time before school started, so we went to Lagoon. It was so crazy that it wasn't much of a break from everything that has been going on. But we got to watch my little brother Keaton beat Mountain View in Football. That really was the best part of the weekend. Carter has been such a little pill lately... he is REALLY testing my patience and I am failing! I thought he was teething but after TWO weeks of constant whining and crying, not sleeping or really eating I decided I needed to take him to the Dr. to see if there was more going on. And... I am so happy to say that he has an ear infection. Happy because maybe he will start acting like himself once the antibiotic starts working!

Well hopefully life will slow down so I can enjoy my children again and be able to enjoy the season that is coming... I LOVE FALL! This time of year is the best. Hopefully we will be able to open our windows and enjoy the smell of pumpkin soon!

I said a "naughty" word...

Today I said something (totally out of frustration) I definitely should not have said, and Ammon followed with a very adult like reaction. It went something like this...
Me- Ammon, please stop whining. (this happened like 20 times)
Ammon- No Mom!
Me- Ammon... shut up!
Ammon- Mom that is a very naughty and rude word. We don't say that word! We say go in the corner, or 1-2-3 go in the corner, be quiet, or please stop. But, NEVER SHUT UP! He is such a good boy and I feel like a horrible mom. I swear he was sent to teach me, not for me to teach him. I love you bud and I'M SORRY!

Happy Birthday (tomorrow) Grandma!!!

I'm sure she'll be embarrassed that I put this on the blog but we just wanted to wish her a Happy Birthday! We love you!

Finally, Our Anniversary...

Saturday was our 5 year Anniversary! I have been thinking alot about how important it is to get married in the Temple (for obvious reasons), and I am so thankful that I married my best friend for Time and All Eternity in the St. George Temple. When it comes down to it, this is all we have and I love my family so much. Happy Anniversary babe, I LOVE YOU! (I will add a picture of us later, I have to find them, then scan then in).

The Wedding...

At the reception there was man there who was drawing anyone who wanted it done. I think it turned out so cute, although Mikes looks so young.
This was Ammons FAVORITE thing... actually I think it was all the kids favorite. The "Candy BAR". The M&M's said "Kason and Wendy, 08-01-08", and all candy Turquoise and Black. It was so cute they had little to-go boxes that you could put all the candy you wanted in.

Kason and Wendy rode off in this cute little car... my boys LOVED playing in it and we got tons of cute pics.

Friday morning my brother Kason married Wendy in the St. George Temple. It was beautiful. We had a fun day. The recepiton was PERFECT. Really it was the most perfect recepiton I have ever been to. Now K&W are on the same cruise that Mike and I did for our Honeymoon. We were on this cruise the exact same days 5 years ago. Can I just say.... I'm jealous.... I want to go too!!!

The Funeral...

Early Thursday Morning we headed to Pahrump NV. for Debs Funeral. It was a beautiful service for her. She was soooooooooo involved in Teaching at Manse Elementary and her Church callings. There were so many people there, I think everyone who lived in Pahrump came. She had touched so many people and really has left a Legacy of Love and Service. Pahrump is a very different little town, if you have been there you know what I mean, but one little girl that Deb taught said "She was the only one who believed in them" meaning the kids she taught. This Chapel was filled all the way to the back and I think about 1/2 of the people were not LDS. So this was a great opportunity for them to hear what we believe, That families are forever. I really felt so blessed to have known her, She was an amazing lady and I know she was needed on the other side. We jokingly said Mikes Dad needed her to scratch his back, but I know she has way more to do then that. She couldn't EVER sit still, I imagine her cleaning Heaven over and over. Here are a few pictures from that day.I have to explain this picture of the shoe. Deb taught P.E. at Manse Elementary and to help motivate these kids who really didn't have anyone or thing to motivate them, she made these shoes that had 1st, 2nd and 3rd place on them. The classes she taught would compete for them, by being on time or wearing the right clothes, etc. I guess they were a very coveted item at the school and everyone knew about them and all the classes wanted them. So they took these shoes and made center pieces out of them for the funeral. It was really neat to see all the time she put into making these. They were "bedazled" with lots of embelishments. She really always went over and beyond in everything that she did.
"When someone you love becomes a MEMORY, the memory becomes a TREASURE". Some ladies in her ward made this for the funeral. I love it!
Here is Mike and his brothers and sister and Mother & on the far left is Debs husband (Ken) and son (De'Ken). Her daughter was wondering the halls and helping to set up for the lucheon.